Brace Yourself…

… for a rant of sorts. Part of studying abroad is adjusting one’s life to the surroundings and being able to function normally far, far away from home. So – in typical Adam format – I am going to complain; not about Egypt (yes, I actually like it here), but about America. True to my personality that so many of you have longingly missed in my four-week absence, I have a problem: American television.

So brace yourself… brace yourself for a possible TV Writers Strike. Yes. Not metro workers or school teachers, or even sanitation workers, but the Writers Guild of America is threatening to take to the picket lines (can you actually picture them with signs) should they not agree to a new contract by October 31 with their respective studios. You know what that means, dontcha? Enjoy the new seasons of The Office, Law & Order and Desperate Housewives while you still can (don’t worry, Lost doesn’t premiere until February. I know, I was worried too). What would American television viewers do if their precious prime-time slots aren’t filled with their favorite shows on the tube?

Have no fear, America, should this improbable strike actually occur, your evenings will be filled with a wide assortment of reality television shows (Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader? Probably not if you are mourning over the loss of primetime TV) as well as possible imports of British and Canadian television series (for once our imports will actually be cheaper… the free-falling Dollar, anyone?), because G-d forbid we don’t have several hundred television channels on DirecTV or digital cable. The article then goes on to ensure Americans that the mega-billion dollar entertainment industry is doing everything it possibly can to work out an arrangment with the writers.

To be fair, the writers do have a point. They do only receive half of their incomes from residuals (reruns and re-airing of episodes) and the fact that many series have now moved online [either on networks own websites or via iTunes (that's another story with NBC...) or Amazon's new Unbox] where viewers can either pay a modest fee or view episodes free online as long as they sit through a quick three or four advertisements per episode. Standards for residuals have not been updated since studios began releasing television seasons on DVD’s a few years back, so the whole residual system is simply outdated. Yes, outdated, and yes it needs-a-changin’ but why do you have to delay my season of Two and a Half Men???

Well instead of paying Charlie Sheen $350,000 per episode for Two and a Half Men, why doesn’t the network renegotiate with their writers, because clearly Charlie Sheen has to get his jokes from somewhere (we all know he isn’t that funny). I don’t pretend to know much about the entertainment industry. A friend from high school went on to record an album in Hollywood, so that is about all of the experience I have in that field, but I am pretty sure that these writers for primetime television aren’t starving, part-time waiters in Burbank who can’t afford their rent.

For all of you primetime television fans out there — I profess my love too, but not enough to freak out about not seeing CSI: Miami broadcast at 10pm on Tuesdays? Mondays? whatever day? — may I suggest reading a book? I mean I clearly understand that if you cannot see… I’m running out of television shows I can name… um… Crossing Jordan, oh wait that was canceled… (now I am looking on ABC’s website)… Grey’s Anatomy on Thursday nights at 9pm, your entire world may be over, but honestly, is it really that important? Yes, Meredith is going to end up with McSteamy, right? No, seriously, when did we become such a nation obsessed with television? I adore my Lost and any show on Bravo, but half the time I am involved in activities that either require me to record the show (thank you TiVo) or watch it online (thank you Broadband).

So I guess out of this jumbled mess I could call a blog post, I would like you to basically get out and do something. Be involved. How rewarding is watching Charlie Sheen and Holland Taylor argue over everything under the sun? Is it really going to improve your life? Don’t worry about the possible strike; the writers won’t do it and the networks won’t allow deep cuts into their pockets. Jews would never allow it!

By the way… here is the link to the article in the Pittsburgh Post Gazette: http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/07267/820141-237.stm